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Member of :- #britain #DAPensioners .
In vino veritas, nunc est bibendum. - In wine is truth, now we must drink.

They're coming for you... the bunnies are coming...

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Wit + Sarcasm X Misanthropy² - Amiability + Charm =SorrowBurn

"And when it all came crashin' down, I became withdrawn and the only thing I knew how to do is to keep on keepin' on."
R.Z.

Masterfully done. I can't help but think that the words uses are basic words, but when dealing with love, and longing, one can't really go all out and load the details with semmingly nonsensical lyrical narratives (like some people I know aranoid). It's best kept basic, and that's proven right here. You did well.

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J'ai Aimé...

J'ai Souffert....

Maintenant, Je Hais.

wow, that's well constructed!! i like your rhyme - its natural, not at all forced, which mine tends to do when i attempt rhyming sometimes stanza 2 tho, I think "the eyes of WHOM i love" works better than "he i love" something about pronoun agreement, it just sounds awkward, and i stumbled over it as i read it. besides, if you edit that way, it won't affect your meter or rhyme sceme at least. your images are lovely but a bit brief, but such is the form of the sonnet. these images are my favorite:

"shadow's grasping hand" oooh, ominous!!

"ice begins to quench love's raging fire." but noooooooooo!! dun let it!



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"I'm not gonna say anything inspirational; I'm just gonna fucking swear a lot." Billie Joe Armstrong

brilliant stuff -- i quite simply am incapable of writing sonnets -- i have tried many a time -- maybe ill be able to come up with something or other for the ole burnpoetry comp, but i doubt it...

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The Moving Finger writes, and, having writ,
Moves on; nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears blot out a Word of it.

Strange--again, you picked up on something I knew was wrong, but couldn't put my finger on. I tried it as "HIM I love" before I posted it, but no joy. I like yours--the fix is in! And no worries, hon--as the end of the poem says, it will all come out right.

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Founder of *ExiledPoetry - Staff in *The-Last-Stanza - Member of *Apophysis and ~TheWord

"Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see..."
The Beatles, "Strawberry Fields"

I really like it hon, not just the mention of other worlds, but I think the whole thing flows really well, which for me is about the most important and most difficult thing in poetry... Once again, well done sweetie!

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The rose is the key....There are other worlds

I wrote ONE sonnet...just one, I wish it was as lovely as this (mine was just about my sexual frustration gone awry ) Very sweet and I love "ice begins to quench love's raging fire.". I can just feel that line so well! Good look in the contest

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You acted the film star while you were still spoken for, it didn't look rosy for me.

'YOUR HEART IS NOT BREAKING IT IS POPPY-RED AND IT WILL GO ON AS WE ALL GO ON.' Heather Schimel

Hehe--I honestly couldn't care less if I win. It was worth it just to finally do one of these! I really should stop panicking over such silly stuff. Thanks, hon!

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Founder of *ExiledPoetry - Staff in *The-Last-Stanza - Member of *Apophysis and ~TheWord

"Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see..."
The Beatles, "Strawberry Fields"

I agree, flow is the hardest. I just thought it was amusing that Roland showed up in my head again while I was writing this. Go ka. Thanks, darlin'

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Founder of *ExiledPoetry - Staff in *The-Last-Stanza - Member of *Apophysis and ~TheWord

"Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see..."
The Beatles, "Strawberry Fields"